Lunch time came. Lunch can be a big thing for kids, especially when you were allowed to eat the lunch the school prepares, it is among the privileged when you have been so poor you had to bring a sack lunch and it was so simple and bland compared with the feasts others brought. But no one could judge me for buying a school hot lunch. I had money and this was the day I was to shine. The bell had rang and we all filled out into the hall way. The noise and confusion slammed me in the face. I lost my bearing. I needed to go wash my hands. But I could not find the restroom. Nothing looked the same. I went up and down the long hall. I had to use my wits. The girls restroom would have a high concentration of girls going in and out. I searched the crowd and finally seen girls buzzing in and out of a door. Sure enough I found it. It looked so different. I felt I had never been in there before.
On coming out the confusion really began. There were a lot less people and I could see more, but where was the lunchroom. I had been there a lot, why couldn't I remember. I thought it would be a door where lots of kids came and went. I found such a door, a large line up, this must be it. But I could not be sure, the line was obstructing my view and I was very short for my age. There had only been one child once for a short time in my grade that had been shorter than me. As I stood there I began to worry, what if this was not a line up for lunch, what if it was something else, I would be so embarrassed and a waste of time, I could miss out on lunch all together. I could hear lots of noise, what if it was a a game going on. So I stood there very quiet and tried to look invisible. It seemed an eternity. Then finally the kid in front of me stepped into the room. The noise by now was deafening. Lots of kids, lots of movement, but to me no structure, no pattern. I stood there frozen. The kid behind me pushed me forward, went around me into the crowd. I followed him. Another line, another eternity, a woman sat at a table and asked questions. When it was my turn, well, its still a blur. But somehow she approved me to get into another huge line, and another eternity. I caught glimpses of food and could smell it, oh so yummy, so I felt assured it was the right room.
I walked right by the trays and forks and spoons, I had not seen them. I was directed back, embarrassed and fearing more of the same I managed to follow the leader and my tray was filled with what seemed to me to be the finest food in the world. I was beaming with pride. I had done it. I figured out how to get lunch. I turned to the crowd again. Where do I sit? I spied some tables in the tangle of moving bodies. I could not remember this room, or this procedure. Who were all these people. They were all strangers. Where were there any familiar faces. I spied one. I went toward them. Dare I sit by them? Were they once friends or foes? I could not remember their name. I just sort of slithered down beside them. I could not figure out what they were saying, too much noise. I ate my feast alone, quietly, in a room full of noise and confusion. The next task was finding where to return the trays, then to again find my room. It had been easy in the morning, less kids, less noise, and I had not gotten lost. What next I wondered. I was exhausted. This was not familiar, this was not fun, this was tasking, and I was apprehensive.
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