The test results came. They were in an envelope, encased and sealed. Did I want to open it and learn the ugly truth. Did I want to even try to retake the test. Was it easier to just fail the rest of my life. The horror of the future sickened me. I had to know how I did and plan my next move. Unnerved, I opened with shaky hands and pulled it out. As usual I was not sure what I was looking at, I did not know how to read it. There were jumbled figures and stats. But I slowly figured out that I had passed, and it was because of the math. I had a good math score and a bad reading score. But together I had made it. I had made it. It slowly snuck in that I had made it. I was allowed to go to college. I had a 2.00000 grade point average and a passing score on the test. The words I were thinking were shocking my body. The immensity of the possibilities were overwhelming.
When a great wave comes it always crashes with with great strength and violence. Could I ride that wave? The school was not going to help me. The school counselor had said not to even try to go to college. And she said it with strong conviction. She was helping others with applications and encouragement. I would have to do it all on my own. She would help those who were very capable but not me. If anyone needed the help it was me. It would be another great battle. Was I able to do it. No money, no knowledge, no experience, and no help. There were very capable students who did not go to college because of money alone. What would it take. Great waves come and crash, but are there not other waves? Do they crash too?
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